Why I’ll Never Wear Mom Jeans

Plus other comments & concerns…. 














I used to secretly laugh at the title of this little blog of mine, “Nothing to Wear”. I always wondered if my readers thought I was being melodramatic, or bratty, by claiming that I was one step away from joining a nudist colony. But as I state in the About page on this blog, it is in fact true that I often find myself with literally have NOTHING to wear on account of a pretty sever shoe and accessory addiction. And if I thought I had nothing to wear in my “previous life” as a size 6 then my new life as a maternity sized fashion blogger has definitely been a rude awakening. Oh yeah… I’m five and half months pregnant.

Sooooo what’s new with you??

What’s new over here, besides unbearable amounts of heart burn, and the typical pregnancy symptoms that plagued me for the first 4 months, is that my wardrobe has shrunk significantly this summer. Not only have my favorite items been pushed to the back of my closet for the remainder of 2014 but my favorite designers and shops no longer have anything to offer me. I admit I fought the maternity clothing battle for a while, and I almost won. I have a few pairs of Zara dress pants with an elastic waist that I still wear, and a billion pairs of patterned Joe Fresh silky pj-ish pants that have gotten me through this past spring and summer. But what about the rest of my wardrobe? Before I became visibly preggers to the public I didn’t think finding clothing that would be comfortable and appropriate would be such an issue. Boy was I wrong. 

Even in 2014 I have found that maternity clothing BLOWS! Yup, I said blows. There’s no other way to put it, so just deal with my adjective. The only really cute items a pregnant chick can find these days are dresses. Asos has a lot of great ones, but you can’t try them on before purchasing so I am hesitant to buy. Maxi dresses, cotton dresses, jersey dresses, even old dresses you have from previous summers tend to still fit right up until the third trimester. If you never dressed like a girly girl before, then being knocked up during the summer months will change that.

Aside from the inconvenience of having to shave your legs every damn day when you're wearing dresses and only dresses (your hair grows a lot faster, thanks a lot hormones) there are other sartorial concerns for a fashionable mom to be. Including, but not limited to… should I still wear heels? Should I show my bump or hide it at the workplace? What do I wear to fashion week this Oct (this is a serious concern). How much should I spend on my new, maternity wardrobe? Are tights considered pants? 

I have learned a lot over the past 5 and a half months. Like there is apparently still a huge gap in the fashion market for maternity clothing. I have been told, and also pictorial evidence has proven, that back when I was born in the early 80’s maternity clothing consisted of a tent-like piece of fabric that simply draped over the woman. Hiding any shape she had or any hope she had for maintaining her femininity and fashion sense. OK today we have many more options, none of which include the tent dress thank God. But I am still not impressed with the selection here in Toronto. The maternity section of say H&M or Topshop usually consists of three pairs of pants, a few t-shirts and one stretched out sweater. These maternity sections are always un-kept and tossed into a dark corner of a store, as if to discourage anyone from actually seeing the merchandise. God forbid a non-pregnant woman walks by and witnesses the horror that is a few sizes up from their normal size.

Also, not much has changed when it comes to male perspective. I can’t tell you how many times I have been approached by the males at my office only to be bombarded with silly questions. “Wow why are you still wearing heels?” Asks the same guy about once a week. Or “are you craving pickles on top of ice cream?” NO you freaks I am not, and I still wear my heels every now and then because I like to feel sexy and I happen to have two perfectly functioning legs. Plus, if I didn’t wear heels how else would I work my lower leg muscles? And by the way, my cravings happen include pineapple, tea and Twizzlers. Nothing that’s going to cause obesity or anything.

I can’t say I am entirely impressed with society’s idea that the moment you conceive you have to throw on a pair of sweat pants and pack it in. Suddenly fashion can’t be fun, you’re not expected to lift a finger, you appear as a victim (excuse me I do not have an illness) and food has to be disgusting and unhealthy. I agree that it is a life changing event, and that motherhood brings with it a certain level of responsibility and maturity that you have to embrace whether you’re ready or not. But when it comes to fashion where do we draw the line?

Because I will be a mother in exactly four months does that mean my entire wardrobe should change to reflect that new role? Are short skits out of the questions? Guess what, I don’t wear them anyways so that’s not a problem. But will I be judged if I go out with my newborn dressed in a horsey pattern blouse? Or Mouse shoes? What about pineapple or flamingo nail art? Please don’t tell me nail art is out of the question after I give birth. 

I think it also goes without saying that this blog of mine will not be switching over to a "Mommy Blog". I have already been asked that many times. I in no way claim to be an expert on child rearing and therefore my advice and/or comments on the subject matter will only be fashion related, so help me God. So if I appear to be sporting a new "accessory" in my up-coming outfit post later this week this is just a heads up, so you don't think I ate way too much for lunch, or something like that. 

Lastly, to address the title of this post. Why I’ll never wear mom jeans. That’s easy. Just no. Because eww. 

Yours truly,

The Pregnant Fashion Blogger