Don't Be A Poser

say what? you expect me to pose for a picture?

It’s Monday; which always puts me in a weird mood, but on top of that today also marks the last week of my twenties. Yep, next Tuesday I finally turn 30. And you know what, I'm OK with that…I swear, I really am.

Since I'm in such a good mood I thought I would share with you something that most of us (bloggers, women, humans in general) don’t usually do, I want to share something I am self-conscious about as a blogger, and in doing so I will reveal some not-so-cute photos of yours truly.  Sounds fun, no?

WHY am I doing this? Firstly, I don’t think that growing up means anything if you haven’t learned from your mistakes in life, educated yourself on how to be a better person, and moved on, with your head high and your morals intact. That to me is growing up, in the true sense of the word “growing” has a lot to do with physical changes, but we can’t forget about the emotional and mental components to growing.

For me growing up has meant training myself to not hide the “real Jennifer”, who is the real Jennifer? It has taken me 30 years to perfect this ridiculously sarcastic vocabulary, obsessive compulsive behaviour and accumulate enough shoes to open a small boutique. And I am proud of myself and who I am, after-all, it takes a lot of work to look this ridiculous. But, is this what you see when you read my blog? I really truly hope so. At first I was really self-conscious about having the people I know, and people I don’t know from around the world seeing the real me. Well, that lasted about 2.5 seconds, I soon got over myself and began blogging, and I am happy I did.

Last week I read an article on IFB about vulnerability in the blogging business, and it came at a perfect time, because two weekends ago I was chatting with a close friend of mine at a bridal shower about this very topic. This friend also happens to be a fellow fashion blogger (check out her amazing blog riiiight here ). We got talking about outfit posts on blogs and how we felt about the most popular ones we see every day, AND how we feel about partaking in them ourselves for our own blogs.

We both wanted to dive into that realm and be able to post awesome outfits on our blogs, but we also were concerned about looking ‘fake’, or coming across as someone/something we are not. You see, to put it lightly, we both have very “quirky” personalities, my friend is obsessed with cats (a certified cat lady let’s get serious, she interrupted my meal to tell me I must follow some fat cat on Instagram, I love you, but no! ), she’s pint size, with a bubbly personality and a contagious laugh/giggle, and on top of that she’s a super smart fashion school graduate. Then there’s me, I think you may already have a flavour for my sarcastic humour and self-deprivation, always looking for an excuse to make a silly comment, or facial expression, and yes, I am obsessed with dogs; have no formal fashion education but yet I started a blog and write about fashion several times a week…hmmmm? How the hell can we pull off the super serious, model poses most fashion bloggers today flaunt? I’ll tell you, from my own experience, I can’t.

It’s truly difficult for me to stand still and look into a camera without sticking my tongue out or raising an eye brow. Evidence below…

My only hope is to forgo looking sexy, serious, and professional and just go with a super smile, a silly facial expression OR crop my head out of every photo of myself.

“It’s strange because the #1 piece of advice for success is to be authentic. But how do you be authentic without being vulnerable?”  That quote is from the above article I mentioned, and isn't this just the lifelong question? This can be applied to so many different scenarios, applying for a job, flirting with a new guy, trying to make friends in the playground as a child, and yes, even when you’re trying to build an audience for your new fashion blog.

I think it all comes down to confidence.

Being confident, every day, no matter what I'm wearing or whether my hair is done (which if you know me at all you also know my hair is NEVER done) is not always easy. Women seem to always be struggling with something, whether it’s feeling unmotivated, unaccomplished, bloated, PMS-ish, moody, overweight, underweight… I’ll stop there; you get the point.  But really, why do we care so much?

Should we care so much? Well obviously the answer is NO!

I'm not a full time or part-time model, I do not moonlight as a professional photographer, or hair and make-up stylist. But I still write this blog several times a week and often post photos of myself, and I try to be completely ME. So far I have gotten only positive feedback, which at first was shocking because let’s face it I’m a bit weird, but you don't judge, I know you don’t. So thanks for that.

I strive to offer up the most real version of myself to my readers, to be real and have other real people embrace that and maybe even expose a bit of themselves and gain confidence through that dialogue. If down the road I can be an inspiration to other women then that would make this blog my most successful venture to date. It would be a great way to spend my 30’s.

I leave you with this collage, these are from Facebook, they are out there, on the world wide web for everyone to see, am I ashamed? Nope! I didn't actually post these photos myself but rather I was "tagged" in them, and no I didn't stalk the people who posted them and demand for them to un-tag me, I just let it be. Cause whether I liked it or not  that the time these photos were taken they represented me and who I really was in that moment.