Sexy Dorothy and the Skanky Nurse: What Halloween Has Taught Me

What Halloween costumes of the past have taught me….

I love Halloween, always have and always will. Fall is already my favorite season so throw in a holiday in which you can DRESS UP as whatever you want without being judged (almost) and I'm game.

My first Halloween costume which I can remember from childhood is "The Witch", I basically wore a long black tent with a really tall pointy witch hat, definitely to drive home the point. Possibly a cruel joke by my parents because I was (and still am) a bit of a bitch, parents get to have their fun too I guess...

In high school we were encouraged to dress up for Halloween and so I did, along with every other young skank girl in my school. I remember dressing up as "Sexy Dorothy", in a blue and white checkered dress that was way too short for Catholic school, actually it was way too short for any school. But hey, I was young and if I didn't wear it at 15 I never would? Or would I?

That costume got a lot of air time, I re-wore it the next year but once I got sick of being Sexy Dorothy Gale from Kansas I had to get creative for costume ideas.

In the years to come I had the following brilliant costumes:

Sexy Hippie

Sexy Candy Stripe Nurse

Sexy Cat

Sexy Lady Gaga

Sexy Prostitute (my apologies to my parents)

Sexy Army Girl 

Sexy Law Student 

Sexy Tennis Player

Lady in a Bathrobe

I’m sorry, what? Hu?

Last year my pink bathrobe adorned with poodles was the inspiration for my costume. I spent $10 on a cheap blonde wig and there you have it; the disheveled, reclusive drunk wife was born. I carried a wine bottle in my robe pocket (which was very convenient let me tell you), red lipstick smudged across my face and oh ya, I was wearing pj’s, and of course, yes, they were tucked into my socks.

After years of wearing only tiny shards of clothing for Halloween the bathrobe was my most brilliant idea yet. 

Guess what, Sexy Hippie liked the hand dryer in the washroom a bit too much

I remember texting my friend the next day "I wore a bathrobe and it was glorious", she replied with, "I cant believe you actually went out dressed like that, I guess we have really matured". 

The bathrobe costume really had me thinking about why women dress in so little clothing on Halloween, especially in Canada, where its almost always freezing cold on that last day of October. So I did a little Google search, and it looks to me like I'm not the only one wondering. See, I'm asking hard hitting questions over here. 

Obviously wanting attention and being a young woman who hasn't really grown into who she truly is yet plays a big role. Call it whatever you want, immaturity, the need to fit in with the other girls, or ideas passed down from film and television, at the end of the day its still just skanky!

What I find interesting is that its actually difficult to find a women's Halloween costume that ISN'T racy. Online you will notice most costume sites have a section for the  "Sexy" costumes, then a section that just says "Woman". Well, that so-called women section may as well be merged with the sexy section, Partycity you're not fooling anyone. I dropped into a costume store while writing this post to see whats out there these days. Sexy Tinkerbell, Sexy Snow White, Sexy Darthvader (yes, for women), and Sexy Where's Waldo were just a few that got under my skin.  How desperate are we that we've even turned famous male characters into total skanks? Poor Waldo. 

Maybe because I'm now 30, or because I have a shopping obsession, I am much more inclined these days to purchase something like the Charlotte Olympia clutch pictured above and dress up as "Fashionista With Excellent Accessories", that's definitely a brilliant costume. Rest assured I have learned that if I am ever blessed with a daughter I will have a strict Halloween costume screening process in place until she reaches the age of 40, just to be safe. 

Looking back to those years of wearing the Sexy ____ (insert random character or career here) I realized the only thing I got out of it was Strep Throat and some fun memories. I am fine with looking back at old photo's and reminiscing and laughing at my immature self. But are you? 

I reveled mine, now its time for you to do the same, cmon, you can do it. Let me know some of your best Halloween costumes, be it skanky or not, and feel free to share your thoughts on why the skanky costume is a fan favorite.